Should Married Couples Sleep in Separate Rooms? Benefits and Solutions
Written by Madeline Lee, B.S. Edited by Kasey Scharnett King, LMFT-S
You love your partner, but maybe not their sleeping habits. Between snoring, blanket-hogging, and mismatched schedules, sharing a bed can sometimes feel more like a nightly challenge than a cozy ritual. If you’ve ever retreated to the guest room “just for one night,” you’re not alone.
Increasingly, couples are redefining what healthy sleep looks like. This may mean two rooms, two beds, or even different bedtime routines. According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, nearly one-third of U.S. adults regularly sleep in separate beds or rooms—a trend sometimes called a “sleep divorce” (2025).
Sleeping apart isn’t necessarily a sign of relationship trouble. For many couples, it’s a practical choice for better rest, reduced tension, and even a stronger emotional connection. In this blog, we’ll explore the benefits, drawbacks, and solutions for married couples with sleep problems, helping you decide what works best for your relationship.
Why Couples May Choose to Sleep Separately
Not every partner sleeps the same way. Differences in schedules, snoring, light vs. deep sleep, or temperature preferences can make sharing a bed challenging.
Couples may also choose separate bedrooms for couples for mental and emotional well-being. A quiet personal space can help with stress management, anxiety, PTSD, or insomnia. When each partner has a space to recharge, they return to shared time more present and attentive.
Choosing couples sleeping apart doesn’t always signal a relationship problem. Instead, it emphasizes rest, health, and emotional connection, supporting stronger and healthier marriages.
Benefits of Sleeping in Separate Rooms
1. Better Sleep Quality
Separate bedrooms for couples can improve rest. Movements, snoring, or different sleep schedules can disrupt your sleep cycle. Well-rested partners wake up feeling patient, clear-headed, and ready to engage positively in the day.
2. Improved Emotional and Physical Health
Poor sleep can increase stress, irritability, and relationship conflict. Couples sleeping apart report calmer mornings, reduced tension, and more empathy, supporting healthy marriage habits.
3. Reduced Sleep Conflicts
Different schedules often cause tension. Couples sleeping apart allows each partner to follow their routine without disturbing the other, reducing resentment and promoting harmony.
4. Personal Space and Autonomy
Having your own room provides time for reflection, hobbies, and relaxation. This autonomy can strengthen intentional connection and make shared moments more meaningful.
Drawbacks of Sleeping in Separate Rooms
1. Less Physical Intimacy
Separate bedrooms naturally reduce nighttime contact, such as cuddling or holding hands. Couples should schedule intentional bonding to maintain closeness.
2. Potential Emotional Distance
Sleeping apart could be misinterpreted as emotional withdrawal. Open communication about intentions ensures the arrangement supports, rather than harms, the relationship.
3. Social Stigma
Society often expects couples to share a bed. However, trends show that sleeping separately is increasingly common and can be a healthy solution for married couples with sleep problems.
4. Missed Nighttime Bonding
Bedtime provides natural bonding opportunities. Couples sleeping apart should plan rituals like morning coffee, evening chats, or date nights to maintain intimacy.
Making Separate Rooms Work
Set Clear Intentions: Make it about rest, not distance.
Communicate Regularly: Check in on how the arrangement feels.
Schedule Together Time: Maintain rituals to nurture closeness.
Compromise: Alternate nights together or apart.
Personalize Your Space: Optimize lighting, bedding, and temperature.
Trial Period: Experiment and track effects on mood, energy, and intimacy.
By being intentional, couples can enjoy both personal rest and emotional connection.
Begin Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling in Southlake and Fort Worth, TX
You don’t have to navigate sleep conflicts or relationship struggles alone. A marriage counseling session, couples therapy, or marriage intensive in Southlake or Fort Worth, TX can help you create personalized solutions, improve communication, and restore intimacy.
Lavender Healing Center offers compassionate guidance to help couples resolve challenges, including sleep-related stress, without judgment. Our therapists specialize in couples intensives, marriage retreats, and strategies to build healthy marriage habits.
Steps to Get Started
Contact Lavender Healing Center to schedule your initial consultation.
Meet with a skilled couples therapist to develop a plan tailored to your relationship.
Take action toward a stronger marriage by learning communication strategies, conflict resolution, and ways to improve intimacy and connection.
Call now to book your session or get on the waitlist for an upcoming couples intensive in Southlake or Fort Worth.
Other Counseling Services at Lavender Healing Center
In addition to marriage counseling and couples therapy, Lavender Healing Center offers:
Our goal is to help you and your partner thrive in all areas of life, strengthen your connection, and maintain healthy marriage habits.
References
American Academy of Sleep Medicine. (2025, July 21). New survey data reveals nearly one-third of Americans engage in a ‘sleep divorce’. AASM. Retrieved from https://aasm.org/new-survey-data-sleep-divorce/
Elsey, T., Keller, P. S., & El-Sheikh, M. (2019). The role of couple sleep concordance in sleep quality: Attachment as a moderator of associations. Journal of Sleep Research, 28(5), e12825. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsr.12825
Krishnan, V., & Collop, N. A. (2006). Gender differences in sleep disorders. Current Opinion in Pulmonary Medicine, 12(6), 383–389. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.mcp.0000245705.69440.6a
Novak, J. R., Miller, K. C., Gunn, H. E., & Troxel, W. M. (2024). Yours, mine, or ours? Dyadic sleep hygiene and associations with sleep quality, emotional distress, and conflict frequency in mixed-gender, bed-sharing couples. Journal of Sleep Research, 33(3), e14047. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsr.14047
